I think it's nationalism, or maybe jingoism, not patriotism; hence, the problem. You can be proud of individual Americans for their accomplishments (Dr. Charles Drew, Annie Sullivan), you can be proud of ideas (the Bill of Rights, public education), you can be proud of moments when our leaders did something extraordinary (George Washington refusing to be king, Harry Truman integrating the army). Nothing's perfect, but you can still find something that represents the best of the idea of America.