Better than slots!

Maryland has an option this election season to add an amendment to the state constitution to allow slots in the Old Line State. Even though gambling is seen as such a hideous vice that only state-sanctioned gambling is allowed, it has been suggested that too many Marylanders are going out of state to glut themselves on electronic noisemakers. The racing and lottery industries are not enough! Therefore we must provide slot machines as a means of keeping our people (and their money) in the state.

I think this is the wrong approach. While mimicking Delaware and West Virginia by providing slots machines might stem the flow of cash from our state to our neighbors, we should do even more! Bring their money to us! And we cannot do that by playing catch-up on addictive machines. A better idea would be to focus on a different vice altogether! Since we have, as a society, decided that we ignore sinful and hurtful behaviors and addictions (as long as it benefits education!), we should focus on other, untapped aspects of human nature. We should legalize prostitution! Let sound the cry, "Sluts, not Slots!"