The passing of a great man

[javasaurus]

My father was born April 18, 1943, to a poor family in St. Albans, West Virginia. At age 14, he met a girl who would nine years later become my mother. They dated through high school, and married soon after. Dad worked his way through college, determined to provide a better life for his family. As the years passed, I was born, then my brother, and two sisters. Despite his hard work, Dad always found time to support his kids. He was a scout master, a coach of basketball, and baseball, and always an active athletic booster and band supporter. He attended sports games, band concerts, my sister's dance recitals. He passed up promotions if they meant more time away from family. His devotion to us eventually took him away from West Virginia into Maryland, seeking a better life as opportunities in West Virginia became more and more dismal. He made sure all four of his children received college educations, and saw each of us get married. He got to bounce four grandchildren on his knee, and loved spoiling them at Christmas. His final years were beset by obscure physical ailments which the doctors could not pinpoint, though they tried to provide relief for the symptoms. Diabetes, neuropathy, anemia, renal failure, cataracts, and finally cancer were diagnosed, and each could have been treated individually, but the combination was too much, and proved untreatable. Two months ago he went to the hospital with severe dehydration and hyperglycemia, and though he returned home two weeks later, he was not quite the same. Finally, on Thursday, December 20, he re-entered the hospital, where we initially thought he was again dehydrated. But it soon became apparent that he was suffering renal failure and other problems. The end was near, and even if we put him on various machines, we knew he'd not return to us. The decision was surprisingly easy to make, but was exceedingly painful none-the-less. On Friday afternoon, all medication except morphine was halted, and a terrible yet cathartic vigil began. The family gathered to say goodbye, to be there with him until the end. As a couple of hours became a day, then two, Dad's breathing became more labored, his extremities became cold and unresponsive. During this ordeal, Mom sat by his side, holding his hand, talking to him. Though the rest of us took breaks to get food, take showers, or get a couple hours of sleep, Mom never left his side, and only napped when she could keep her eyes open no longer. It was sometime between 3 and 4 am on Monday morning, December 24th, Christmas Eve, that found each of us exhausted, succumbed to sleep, and Dad, perhaps knowing that we weren't watching, passed from this world.

We've spent the time since making arrangements, contacting family and friends, weeping, remembering, sharing. And tomorrow's viewing will be followed by Friday's funeral, as we say goodbye to a great man, a great father.

Comments

[wilhelmina-d.livejournal.com]

You have both my and Himself's deepest condolences. If there is anything we can do, please don't hesitate to call on us.

[javasaurus.livejournal.com]

Thank you both.

[skimbells.livejournal.com]

i'm so sorry to hear of your loss - he sounds like an amazing man and a blessing to his family

[javasaurus.livejournal.com]

Thank you. "Amazing" doesn't even come close.

[faireraven.livejournal.com]

I'm so very, very sorry, sweetie.

If there's anything we can do to help, please let me know.

*HUGS*

My love to you and your family...

[javasaurus.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[pyratelady.livejournal.com]

I'm very sorry.

[javasaurus.livejournal.com]

Thanks

[vvalkyri.livejournal.com]

Condolences, and peace to you and your family.

[javasaurus.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[sparowe]

I am so sorry for your loss.

[javasaurus.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[queenmaggie.livejournal.com]

Our sorrow for your loss.

I am glad that the decision was easy, at least. Sometimes that's the only way you can show your love: to let it be as simple and without dissension as possible. I wish there were anything to say that could help with the sense of loss and sorrow.

[javasaurus.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I have a brother and two sisters, and between them, me, and my mother, not a one of us questioned the decision. We all knew it was time, and we made the choice together. And afterwards we came together and found strength in our love for one another. There are times where my family drives me absolutely batty, but when it counts, we're one of those families from the old 50's sit-coms.

[thatwasjen]

So sorry.

[javasaurus.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[thewhitedragon.livejournal.com]

You have my deepest regrets on your loss.

[javasaurus.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[dawntreader]

i'm so sorry. be well.

[javasaurus.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[dashrippington.livejournal.com]

I am terribly saddened for you at this news. I am sorry that you now must go through this process as well. It is horrible to lose a family member this close to the holidays. My thoughts are with you...

[javasaurus.livejournal.com]

Thank you. In some ways, losing Dad on Christmas Eve makes it easier for me. Christmas was always his favorite holiday, and now when I celebrate the season, I'll celebrate the life of my father at the same time.

[silmaril.livejournal.com]

I am very sorry for your loss. Peace.

[javasaurus.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[rsteachout.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry for your loss. His love and devotion live on in his family, I'm sure.

[javasaurus.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I love your icon for this post -- there is something really poignant about the cleansing autumn rain.

Your father's passing

[petricat666.livejournal.com]

Chris, I am so sorry about your Dad. I know that he was suffering and I hope that you gain some comfort from knowing that he is no longer in pain (and since he passed on Christmas Eve he's probably plotting how to Scrooge you next year "hmm, Christmas Past, Christmas Present so many to choose from)

If I had known we would have made it to the viewing to give you love and support.

Let me know if there is any charitible contribution that Kevin, Blondie and I can make.

Di

Re: Your father's passing

[javasaurus.livejournal.com]

Thank you. As for the viewing, again thanks, that means a lot. Between the time Dad passed away and the funeral, I spent most of my time focusing on Mom's needs and paperwork. I'm just getting around to telling some of my coworkers and friends about it.